She went from zero to smokin in five shots
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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