at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
