Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
