Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize