Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
