So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
