yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
