so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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