Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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