Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
