we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The ass gains better be worth it
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