I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
