He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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