she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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