everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
