i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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