it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize