STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
