His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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