glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Fuck appropriateness.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
