I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
