How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
