i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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