i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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