why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
