Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
