the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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