its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
