Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just found puke in my bra..
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
