The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
