I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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