we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
We smell like vodka and hangover
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