Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
