Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
