I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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