I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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