So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
