glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
