sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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