Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
