from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
