Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
