3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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