Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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