You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Randomize
