dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
