party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize