Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
