I seem to have left my pride at pride
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
