Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
