He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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