How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
