Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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