Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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