I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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