Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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