Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
