i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
