you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
